I was always regarded as slow at Primary school.
We were put into rows according to how bright we were. I was always in the last or last but one row. I remember how it always seemed that the posh kids were in the higher rows.
I went to a Lancashire Seconday Modern in the mid 70s. My parents put it down as first choice of school rather than a Grammar, when I asked them why, my mum simply said "that's where you are going". They had never known anyone who had gone to a Grammar. I thought that their choice was odd until I was about 14 and I told Paul (one of my best friends, who was also excellent at maths) and he said. "My parents did the same". It was just totally outside of their experience to send their children to a Grammar. They had no idea of the curriculum there, and it was probably for the best. I would have been really uncomfortable there.
I was slow in learning to read at Primary, but at the age of about 8 or 9 something clicked and I read everything I could get my hands on. In the summer holidays I would sometimes read a book a day from the library (now closed). I've long suspected that I might be slightly dyslexic, I remember a biology teacher saying "you're just one of those people who can't spell".
Another teacher explained the qualifications system from CSEs to University degrees but, he added, "none of you will get there". I could never have told anyone at the time that I would eventually want to go to university, but I felt it as a real blow.
It was a tough school, racism and homophobia was part of the accepted fabric of the place- as it was of society and the time generally. I was in the A steam and usually towards the top of it. When O levels came along I asked for extra chemistry lessons (to support the biology I was so keen on) and I managed to gather a clutch of boys interested. However I was soon later hit by a van in a traffic accident and missed most of the work coming up to exams.
I left with a CSE grade 1 (equal to an O level) in English Literature (the lessons weren't much good, but I'd read the books on the curriculum list from the school library). I also got O levels in biology and history. My favourite subjects then and now. It wasn't much in the way of qualifications, but most of my friends had just a few low grade CSEs.
I went onto various factory jobs and two years as a dustman, while I took additional O levels, A levels and some OU courses, before getting into University.
Anonymous.
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I was a slow learner at school, or so I was told. Often laughed at and sometimes bullied by teachers for what they saw as a wanton desire to not learn. In our final year at Junior school we did old 11+ papers to sort the pupils who would go to the local Grammar School out for those who would go to the village Sec Mod. Guess where I ended up!
ReplyDeleteI was placed in the A stream classes and managed to never 'drop' into a B stream class, but still suffered from a seeming inability to learn the way others did. I was a day dreamer, lacked attention, was unable to 'apply myself'. The first year I wasn't placed in class as my attendance was so poor. I hated school and did anything I could to not go. My 2nd year was better for attendance, but I still managed to come 2nd off bottom (which, to me, was an achievement; I wasn't the 'worst' in the class).
Then, something happened. My brain woke up, I started to learn and be able to apply knowledge. I finished 13th in class. In my final year I was 5th in class and actually came top in a couple of subjects. My teachers, who regularly told me I'd have a zero chance of becoming something, started to encourage me. I remember thinking back then that they were several years too late, and after our biology teacher said I should stay on the extra year and try to do O levels, I realised that I wasn't some thicko after all.
I left, at 15 years old.
I had no clue what I wanted to be. Got a job as an apprentice painter and decorator (My Dad told me that a trade would be the best thing for me). I lasted 2 weeks. Got a labouring job at the steelworks and then applied for an apprenticeship, which I was amazed to find out I was accepted for. Epilepsy ended that one, but I got a staff job in the Engineering Dept and did boring stuff for the next 5years. Steel closed down, thanks Mr Heseltine, and I got a job as a trainee manager at Curry's.
I didn't realise it then, but all the jobs I had had since my 2 week painting gig were all above the average wage.
When I was 24 I got a job as a typing instructor (no experience necessary) and from there watched as computers took over. I studied, I was enthusiastic, and I finally discovered something I was good at.
44 years later I'm still training people in IT, now it's cloud infrastructure and networking, but I still feel those fingers of doubt (imposter syndrome?) every day.